Dark Vs Light
Spending time in darkness makes you appreciate the light so much more.
It may come as a surprise to those who don’t know me very well, that I have a tendency to venture off into some dark places at times. I try very hard not to go there, but sometimes I can become overwhelmed with things that are going on.
When I do venture off, I tend to shut myself off from the world. I don’t want to do anything, see anyone, talk to anyone. I just want to be alone with my thoughts. I eventually come good, and that’s because I now know it is a process. I always leave a gap to allow some light to filter through, so that when I am ready, I know how to find my way out.
Most people have their own stuff going on and that is why it is so important to look beyond what you see on the surface. It’s easy to judge another person’s behaviour when one cannot see the bigger picture.
Right now, we have been forced into isolation. We have no choice but to spend more time with ourselves. Whilst, this can be a good thing in terms of having a rest and not having to speed through life like we normally do, it also causes us to reflect on the things that are going on around us. It can be a good thing or a bad thing depending on the way we choose to view it.
I have been challenged on so many occasions over the past few months, and from many different angles, ranging from the seemingly insignificant to the fairly substantial. Like many others, I have been affected professionally by the impacts of the virus and now find myself at a significant turning point. Put it this way, I have a lot on my mind. Not great timing as I try to focus on my imminent book release.
However, when I put all of these things into perspective and climb up high enough to view it all from that vantage point, I realise they are all things that can be overcome. I just have to choose to overcome them. I now have the tools to do that because I have learnt to do it. I don’t always use the tools I have. Sometimes I feel like I have misplaced them, or they are just too heavy to handle when the strength doesn’t appear to be there. But I know I have them…. somewhere.
When I am too stubborn to dig deep for the right tools, I may come across a shovel and use it to dig myself a dark hole instead. Sometimes I just stand at the edge of that big black hole and take a peek inside. I can see what’s in there, but I am quite happy to view it from a distance. I can dig my heels in and manage to stay where it’s safe. Other times, I jump in. I don’t go very far. I just venture into the shadows a little bit. I take a look at what I can see in those shadows and try to make sense of it. How quickly I learn the lessons determines how quickly I turn around and venture out of the hole. I know how to get out because I left a trail on the way in.
And sometimes, I allow myself to go even further down into the hole. I even make myself comfortable. I have a little lie down. Hey, sometimes I even come across some of my old stuff that I thought I had buried down there, only to find I hadn’t actually done the job properly. Once I see these things, I have no choice but to confront them again, just like Groundhog Day. That usually means I have to stay a little while longer to deal with it all….
From that big black hole, I can hear my friends shouting at me from the top, peering in, trying to find where I’ve gone….‘
Why don’t you come out, it’s dark and cold in there. Come back to where it’s warm’ they say.
I say….
‘I’m ok. I just want to stay down here for a while where its comfortable (and I can feel sorry for myself). I am not alone. I have some friends with me. Anxiety has come in to pay a visit and so has Fear. Unworthiness is giving me a bit of a hard time but I am trying to put her in her place. Guilt and Shame have wandered in too. These guys all tend to hang around together. I need to have a chat with them. They really want to stay but I’m not sure there’s enough room for all of us. Once I deal with them, I will send them on their way.
There are so many people around us struggling to make sense of how they feel, particularly under the current circumstances where life seems to have had a big thick black line drawn down the middle, splitting it into pre-covid and post-covid. It is no wonder that fear and uncertainty linger in the air above most of us. None of us really know what the other end of this particular tunnel looks like.
We must have faith that everything sent to us is not sent to break us, but rather to move us to a higher level of consciousness. We might not have a vaccine for this coronavirus, but one thing we know for sure is that the antidote for fear and uncertainty is love and faith.
And the antidote to darkness is light; the brighter the better. Like everything else, it too is a journey. One can’t go from dark to light all in one go. It takes time to adjust to the light. To go from dark to light, it’s necessary to move through all of the shades in between.
For me, focussing on doing the things I enjoy, like writing and getting out for a walk in nature, help me to refocus. I also have help from friends who don’t listen to me when I say I don’t need anyone. They may give me space, but I can always sense their helping hand prepared to lift me out of the hole when I am ready. For this I am most grateful!
My hand is outstretched for anyone who needs it.
We are really all in this together. All we can do is check on our friends and care for those around us, most of all, for ourselves.
(P.S. I would love for you to come along with me on this journey to fulfilling my dreams. While I am in the process of setting up my online space, please DM me on Instagram or FB Messenger, or fill in the fields below. All I need is your email address if you would like to receive my updates. You will be one of the first to know when my book is ready for pre-purchase, together with any special offers - PDD)