Another Shade of Grey

September 24, 2020

Dear Diary,

Today I discovered a new shade of grey. Number 51. It’s a combination of dark brown and white. It might not technically appear as grey to some, but I have decided to call it grey anyway. I think I may have also stumbled across a new hairstyle trend. I’ll describe it to you. Well, it looks like a ring around your head starting at the roots of your hair, that part is white. Then, there are other parts, much like foils, evenly distributed all over the hair, that provide a natural looking blend of dark and white hair, making up my new shade of grey. 

It’s a really difficult technique to master and one that cannot be achieved by everybody. It takes time and well, you just have to let it go and not try to control the situation. You must let it become what it is destined to be. It’s not a very costly technique. It can be achieved in the comfort of your own home. It is very effective and not harmful to the environment in any way. There is nothing to recycle and will not leave a carbon footprint. Basically, to achieve this look, you just leave it alone and watch while it happens, slowly, day after day. With patience you will find that it continues to happen until the white part eventually takes over. That will then result in an entirely new shade, and we will call it Number 52. 

And my dear diary, you know where else you will find many shades of grey? In Melbourne. It’s bleak and everything seems to be a little obscure at the moment.  There is a dark veil over this most beautiful city. It’s a constant battle between the dark and the light. The light does come out at times, but the dark is quick to try to overshadow and silence it. Unfortunately it has succeeded, until now. But I can feel the light getting warmer and beginning to cover much more ground. Let’s hope that is indeed the case, before it’s too late!

I am not even sure what day it is because every day feels much the same. I know we are in ‘Lockdown Season 2’, and I know I have been binge-watching it. Each time I am asked if ‘I am still watching’, I wake from my slumber to hit a key, any key, in response to the question. Of course I am still watching. I wouldn’t want to miss this spectacle. It was pretty boring until now, but now it has my full attention. It’s just now starting to get very interesting.

I knew all along that there was much more to this story than we were lead to believe in Season 1. They thought they had us convinced, but some of us are able to see it from many different perspectives. And now we have made up our own minds. Now we can see much deeper into the story, and what we can see is that it appears to have been a fabrication. But as the viewer, we get to choose whether or not we buy into the story as it is being presented and the fear created by it, or we challenge what we are being told. Unfortunately, some have chosen to believe it and have put their trust where they think it is warranted. Others like me, are sceptical, and prefer to base my opinion on the facts and the evidence being presented. 

From my view, this is a story of a man on a puppet string who has been given a script to follow, and who does so without even checking the facts, analysing the data, or challenging what he is being fed. Much evidence came to light between season 1 and season 2, but there were no adjustments made to the storyline to reflect these changes. The story continues to unfold and I will continue to watch it from my comfortable little cocoon. I predict a spectacular ending to this season. Full of drama and suspense, an exposure of the lies, a fall from grace… and hopefully that will be the end of it. Most of us are quite clear that we will not be tuning in for another season. This one needs to end and it needs to end soon. 

From my window and my limited amount of exposure to the outside, I observe the world go by. Day turns to night and night back to day. I am not quite sure when it happened, but autumn turned to winter, and winter to spring. All of the leaves on the trees fell to the ground and were swept away. The trees were bare for a little while, and now they are revealing their new look in preparation for the summer. And while time may appear to be standing still for most of us, nature continues to do its thing. You can always rely on nature to keep everything moving along.

There are parts of my wardrobe that have not seen the light of day for quite some time. Many of the doors remain unopened. Shoes remain closed tightly in boxes, and there have been no significant additions to the wardrobe family in quite a long time. Each day, I open the drawers which house the activewear and decide which pair of black tights I will wear. I also choose which sports top I will wear, in preparation for my one hour of permitted exercise. The choices range from a singlet top to something with short sleeves, depending on the weather. Then I continue to layer according to the temperature outside. Extreme cases call for a beanie, or a jacket. The choice of jacket will depend on the degree of warmth I am aiming for. Sometimes it will be a vest, or perhaps a raincoat. Other times call for a puffer jacket. Usually black. And now that I have discovered my new shade of grey, more often than not, I will wear a baseball cap. We just can’t have that new trend catching on too quickly, can we?

So you see, dear diary. There is so much more you can discover about yourself and the things around you when you have everything taken away from you and you are left with no choice. You become very creative and resourceful when your options are limited, and yes, in many ways, it does have its benefits. DIY is taking on a whole new meaning; the emergence of a new and thriving industry in its own right. It’s sure to create many more jobs when the appropriate time comes and we all call out for help to fix all of the jobs we botched when we were trying to do everything all on our own. 

What I have discovered is that as much as I have appreciated the time to rest and reset, I’m done now. I don’t really want to do everything on my own. Everyone is good at their own craft and in order for the economy to keep going around, we need to allow people to do their thing. I don’t want to do my own maintenance. I want others to do it for me. I miss my hairdresser, my beautician, my gardener, the person who cleans my pool and the list goes on. I want the person at the local café to make my coffee and my breakfast on occasion. And sometimes I want to be served my dinner and a nice glass of prosecco at a table by a waiter. I want to go to the shopping mall, and not necessarily because I want to shop. I just want to be able to do it if I choose to. Whether I do or not is irrelevant. I want to have the choice to do all of the things that were just part of ‘normal’ life. All of those things I took for granted as just being there whenever I wanted them.

I don’t want to go back to the hustle and bustle of how my life used to be. I don’t want to be super busy all the time, rushing from place to place, trying to meet all of the deadlines imposed on me. I want to choose what I do, and when I do it. I am not asking for much, just the simple things. And I want to go to the beach!

I just want my freedom back!